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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Future Imperfect

This time I have a reason for the long absence. This may be TMI, but in January I began having a "feminine" problem that had me at the gyne for testing. She thought it was a fibroid, and I needed a little inner cleaning, a D&C, one of those thing I never expected to have, especially since I passed menopause years ago. Thinking that plumbing was a bitch, I got on the operating room table a week and a half ago. Woke up to find things had only just begun.

You know how you hear things, but not really. I heard that it wasn't a fibroid, that she found a soft tissue mass, but for some reason I didn't really think a lot about it. Until I called in Thursday for the lab result and the nurse on the phone said nothing was in my chart. She went to check, and I still thought things had been mislaid. Until she called me back to say the doctor wanted to see me in person about the result.

Finally, alarm bells began to ring.

If you've guessed things, you're obviously quicker than I was. Uterine cancer. Worse yet, there's something unusual about my cancer. (Unusual is never good) She wants the gyne-oncologist to give me the really bad news. I'm off to see him tomorrow.

Maybe for once being a pessimist will be a good thing. The news can't possibly be as bad as my mind is making things out to be.

6 comments:

Meredith said...

Barbara - I'm an RCRW member, and sometimes visit your page to see how things are progressing with your novel. Today, I came across your news. I just wanted you to know that you people pulling for you, even people you don't know. I will send healing thoughts your way. All best to you - Meredith

Minnette Meador said...

I'm also from RCRW and wanted to let you know that we're all pulling for you. DH and I will keep you in our prayers, our thoughts,and send healing wishes your way. I hope the news is not as bad as you think. Medicine is doing amazing things these days with cancer. A big cyber hug for you! Minnette

Gabrielle said...

Barbara, I'm another of the people you don't know, but I'm also a Golden Rose winner, and I wanted to send you my best thoughts and healing wishes. Take good care, Gabrielle

Alice Sharpe said...

Barbara -- another person from the RCRW you don't know sending you positive healing thoughts. I am a breast cancer survivor whose case (sixteen yrs. ago) seemed pretty hopeless, and my sister is over a year away from a situation similar to yours. Amazing things can happen. And btw, congratulations on signing with an agent you clicked with.

You're in a lot of people's minds and hearts.

Delilah Marvelle said...

Barbara,
I'm an RCRW member as well and my thoughts and prayers are with you. Having known several women who survived various forms of cancer, I know where there's a will, there's a way. And you sound like an incredible fighter.
Much love,
Delilah

Maggie Jaimeson said...

Another RCRW member sending you prayers and healing light. I was diagnosed with uterine cancer when I was 20. A complete hysterectomy followed by radiation did the trick. Though I was never able to have children, at 55 I'm still ecstatic to be alive. (Not to mention, not worrying about periods or pregnancy was pretty freeing for me.)

Please know there are lots of cancer survivors who are supporting you, and lots of people who want a fellow author to know she is loved. One step at a time, make your doctor work for his suggested treatment, and question everything until you are personally satisfied and comfortable with the next steps. Please know you can talk to any of us whenever you need.
Maggie